


open to interpretation

by CallofTheCurlew



Series: challenge: prompts [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: M/M, Mystic, Tarot Cards, Tarot Readings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:34:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallofTheCurlew/pseuds/CallofTheCurlew
Summary: “Every year in January I go get a lady to read my tarot cards.”It takes every ounce of Dan’s willpower to not react, “Oh.”





	open to interpretation

**Author's Note:**

> Re: Tarot Cards  
> I am an amateur dabbler in the workings of Tarot Cards and wrote this in consultation with a couple of professionals and my own books and cards! I understand and acknowledge that there are a thousand ways to interpret/read and understand Tarot, and through this I don't wish to offend anyone. Any views expressed are not necessarily my own views nor are /correct/ views. 
> 
> In saying that, please enjoy! I had a lot of fun writing it! My prompts were: "Sometimes, Believe, Gratitude" and this is what came out. I gave it a quick edit but I was in the midst of a fever dream (I'm very sick) so my apologies for anything weird.

It took ten years for Dan to realise that there was a pattern.

To be fair, when it only happened once a year, there wasn’t much opportunity to recognise a correlation of events. But still, ten years seemed long, even for him.

“Where are you going?”

It was mid January, and Phil was leaving the apartment in the early morning, before the sun was even up. It was a strange occurrence - Phil was rarely awake before midday most of the time.   

“Oh, uh, just out…”

Dan sat up from the bed, bleary eyed and critical, “It’s like, five in the morning. Where are you going?”

“I just- have this thing I have to do?”

“So early?” he murmurs, rubbing his hands over his face, “Are you finally leaving me and I’ve foiled your plans?”

Phil laughs, shaking his head even though he knew it was a joke, “Of course not. It’s just…” he glances at the time on their bedside table and sighs, sitting down on the edge of the bed, “It’s just something I do every year.”

Dan frowns, because he’s pretty sure that’s a lie, “I’ve never seen you get out of bed this early.”

“That’s because we live further away now.”

“From _what?”_

Phil rolls his eyes, suddenly exasperated, “I don’t want to tell you because it’s stupid, okay? You’re gonna laugh and not in a nice way and I’m not going to want to go.”

Dan pauses for a moment to reflect, “Hey…” he says quietly, because Phil feeling that way about something actually hurts a little, “I’m sorry if I ever gave you that impression. But what is it?”

Phil heaves a sigh, picking at a loose thread on the bedspread beneath him, before gazing up, “Every year in January I go get a lady to read my tarot cards.”

It takes every ounce of Dan’s willpower to not react, “Oh.”

Phil’s face flushes with embarrassment and he shakes his head, “Never mind. I’m gonna be late for the train.”

“Hey no, wait,” Dan says, and before he can stop himself he’s out of bed and pulling on a pair of jeans, “I’ll come with you.”

That makes Phil pause and he gives Dan a sceptical look, “I don’t want you to come if you’re just going to make fun of it…”

“Phil,” he grumbles, “I’ll be good. But… it’s important to you, right?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Then I’m coming.”

 

 

“So how did this start? And how long have you been going?”

Phil’s sitting on the train, fiddling with his fingers because if he’s honest, he’s a little nervous for Dan to be there.

“Um, Madame Rosa-”

“Madame _Rosa?”_ Dan splutters, unable to contain himself, “Wh-”

“Okay, okay! Her real name is Marlene, but you can’t run a business with the name Madame Marlene. That sounds like some Agony Aunt crap,”

“But _Rosa…_ ” Dan shakes his head in wonder, but sits back and doesn’t question it further, “Go on…”

Phil wrinkles his nose. He didn’t really want to continue if Dan was going to be like this, “Uhm, so Marlene was a friend of my grandmothers, and once she took me and Martyn to her reading room, when I was about… uh, maybe seven?”

“Seven?” Dan’s eyes bulge, “And you’ve gone every year since then?”

Phil nods, eyes hard, and suddenly he’s more sure and less worried about what Dan’s impression of it is. It had taken him a split second - mostly through talking about his grandmother - to realise that this was something he did for himself, and nothing Dan said could change his mind.   

“Twenty-four years…” Dan pauses in surprise, “How come you never told me?”

Phil face deadpans as he glances at Dan, raising an eyebrow, “Really? You have to ask?”

“Okay, I mean, fair point. But how have you managed to do this the entire time we’ve known each other without me realising?”

Phil shrugs, “It was easier when we lived in Manchester,” he said softly, “Marlene’s place was close and I could go there under the guise of going to the shops, or something like that. Sorry I lied.”

“No, I get it…” Dan says softly, “Sorry you felt like you had to keep it from me because I’m an asshole.”

Phil chuckles and leans into him, eyes closing, “You’re going to hate it. It’s a business, so she’s a bit theatrical. I mean, she won’t do all the bells and whistles because it’s only me, but it’s… I mean. It’s like a little show. People get a kick out of it.”

“What do you mean? ‘She puts on a show’?”

“Well, tarot isn’t alway about… you know, gazing into the crystal ball and inhaling incense and… you know, purple drapes. But… people kind of… come for that experience? When my grandma used to teach me how to read them, we used to sit on her bed. The only thing she insisted on was bathing the cards in the light of the full moon.”  

Dan nods, genuinely interested, “Does Madame Rosa wear robes?”

“Only when she’s performing,” Phil grins back, “She just a regular old woman, usually.”

Dan nods thoughtfully, chuckling softly, “Interesting.”

They’re silent for another few moments, before Phil presses his forehead against Dan’s shoulder, “Thanks for coming with me.”

 

  
The building they arrive at is small and unobtrusive. There's barely any signs or hints that point to the fact that a business even operates out of it, and for a moment Dan feels like he's been pranked. Phil feels strangely nervous for the first time in years, and he can feel Dan’s restless energy beside him.

They step into a dark room and it’s exactly how Phil described it. Purple drapes hang on the walls, blocking out the light from the windows. Blown up posters of the tarot cards hang against some of the drapes and there are candles everywhere, flickering softly from the air conditioning. Strong cinnamon and vanilla incense wafts through the room, spicy and mysterious, and a crystal ball sits in the very middle of the room on a small table.

“Philip!”

Marlene is old but not frail. She had been quite young when Phil first started seeing her, and he figures she’s now somewhere in her late sixties - significantly younger than his own grandma if she were still alive. They had met through a community for psychics, and while their ages differed, it never stopped their friendship.

“Madame Rosa!” Phil’s nerves disappear as he spots the woman, donned in green and gold today. They pull each other into a hug and he buries himself in a scent that is so familiar - warmth and knowledge and family and love - a smell he could never explain to someone.

She’s the epitome of the fortune tellers in every badly written sitcom, with a bandana and long flowing sleeves, and if he’s honest, Phil loves it. Maybe the theatricality behind it all was another reason why he always came back.   

He glances back to see Dan, hands jammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched in defense. He’s incredibly uncomfortable, but Phil just smiles at him reassuringly.

“This is Dan.”

“Ah yes, the boyfriend you always tell me about,” she smiles, and Phil is once again red from embarrassment.

“Um, hi,” Dan says, before he too is engulfed in a large hug, and he awkwardly hugs her back.

“Have you both come for a reading today?” she asks.

Phil shakes his head, ‘Just me. I don’t think-”

“A-bah-bah-bah,” Dan cuts him off, “Maybe. I’m not sure yet.”

Phil doesn’t mean to stare but he’s pretty sure his eyes have turned into saucers. Dan doesn’t look at him though and Phil just shrugs, taking up a seat at the crystal ball.

“Alright, love. Same reading as always?”

“Um, can you explain, for the first timers?” Dan asks softly, and Marlene and Phil grin at each other. Phil’s more excited than he’s ever been for a reading - being able to share it with Dan makes his heart thump wildly.

She retrieves another chair for him so they can sit together, and Dan pulls himself up to the crystal ball with a soft smile at Phil.

“Whenever I come here, I get a six card spread read out to me,” Phil explains softly, his voice fitting the tone of the room, “It’s basically a snapshot of how things are in general, and one of the most basic readings you can do. You can also ask a question and get an answer.”

“It uses only the Major Arcana,” Marlene explains, “Which are our foundation cards.”

Dan nods along like he understands, but the words are strange and he’s not quite sure of the significance of the ‘foundation cards’. He has to admit that in this space - the atmosphere and the ambience, it certainly feels like he could believe if he let himself.

“In the beginning, we take a moment to focus on mindfulness. We use a signifier, the crystal ball, to ground our thoughts, and even our breathing…” Marlene’s voice is soft and Dan almost gets lost in the moment, listening and watching Phil place his hands over the sphere.

Marlene does the same, “Then we focus on the question we want answered. It doesn’t need to be said out loud. Just focus on that and only the question you want. If your thoughts drift, acknowledge this and gently guide them back.”

It’s quiet in the room, the only sounds are Phil’s deep breaths. It makes Dan uncomfortable, but still he’s fascinated.

"Alright,” she says softly, and from a small pouch at her belt she produces a stack of cards, larger in size than playing cards, but a smaller deck. She shuffles them once, before passing them to Phil, who shuffles them for almost a minute before knocking on the top three times, blowing over the top and passing them back.

“Wait, what was that?” Dan asks softly, trying not to ruin the ambience.

“I shuffle the cards, to unite their energy,” she explains, “And then Phil shuffles them until he knows that they’re shuffled enough…”

It doesn’t make sense, but she says it in a way that makes Dan not want to question it.

“The knocking wakes the cards and prepares them, and the cool breath allows us to begin.”

Dan just nods now, unsure what questions he’d even ask if he had them.

With practised ease, Marlene deals the first six cards from the top in a spread that doesn’t seem to have any rhyme or reason, but Phil gazes on solemnly.

The first card depicts an angel playing the trumpet, and Dan frowns a little, “The first card in this spread represents how you feel about yourself,” she explains, “Judgement. The Judgement card signifies the end of an era for you, or at least, of a phase in your life. You may be looking at new opportunities, or you may need to make some new choices, ones that could change your life dramatically.”

Phil reflects for a moment, talking it through, “We finished touring last year,” he says quietly, “That’s a pretty big end, considering we’re pretty sure that’s the last tour ever. At least, internationally. And our lease is ending again - we only had a twelve month one, and we kind of have to make the decision as to whether we’re going to buy a house and move into our permanent resting place, or… if we rent again.”

Dan considers his words, and of course it’s all true but he can’t help but think he’s tailored them to fit to the card meaning of the card.

Marlene simply nods, pointing with long, manicured red nails to the second card, “The second card shows what you want most right now,” she says, before smiling, “Your card is ‘The Hanging Man’, which is a card of suspension, and waiting. It suggests that you’re literally hanging in the balance, waiting for something to happen, and perhaps that you _want_ something to happen,” she says, “And maybe, taking into consideration the other cards, that you feel like you shouldn’t have to give something up to have something else.”

Phil doesn’t say anything, but his mouth is set in a line. It’s scarily accurate, Dan realises for a moment, before his head shakes minisculely. She’s used his own words and once again, gave him an interpretation of that card that made the most sense.

“Your fears are represented in the third card, for which ‘The Star’ is shown. You’re fearful of the future, and you’re not sure what to do, however this card is a card of hope, and optimism,” she pauses, musing for a moment, “Perhaps you’re fearful that the good things will end soon, and maybe it will become harder, either in your relationships or in your career.”

Phil can’t help but glance at Dan, and neither of them are sure how to take that. They’ve always been stronger together.

“The things in your favour - your card here is ‘Strength’.”

Phil grins as he takes in the depiction of the lion on the card.

“Patience, diplomacy, and most importantly - courage - are your strongest qualities. You have inner strength, Phil, and sometimes people won’t see that, and sometimes it may be hard for even yourself to see it. But it’s there.”

Phil nods, and Dan is in wonder at the way he takes her words so seriously.

“And going against you - the Magician,” she says softly, frowning slightly, “It can often mean...greed, deceit and manipulation. It could refer to someone in your life, or perhaps a business or company. Someone who… perhaps, is holding you back from reaching your full potential.”

It’s not directed at Dan - her focus is on Phil and never switches, but Dan can’t help but feel responsible. Was he holding Phil back? It makes him frown, glaring at the card, of the old man and the eclipse behind him. They were just cards. They didn’t mean anything.

“Your final card is the likely outcome to your question, and behold the Empress,” she tilts her head, smiling a little, “The Empress can mean many things, and can often point to fertility,” she smirks a little and Phil lets out a nervous chuckle, prompting Dan to give him a questioning look. He doesn’t answer it, “But it’s also about prosperity, and growth. It’s a positive card - good things are coming, Phil. But you can see through the rest of the cards, there are always going to be trials and tribulations. Periods of waiting and having to deal with the wrong path sometimes. But be patient and kind, and you’ll get to where you want to be.”

He nods, but doesn’t get up yet, taking a moment to think about the cards. He takes a deep breath, before nodding again.

“Thank you, Madame Rosa,” he uses her stage name because it feels better in this environment, before glancing at Dan, “Do you want to-?”

“No thank you,” Dan says quickly, “That’s, um- it was very interesting, but I don’t think it’s for me.”

“Not to worry, sweetheart. It can be fairly confronting for your first time. But I appreciate you coming to support Phil. He talks about you whenever he’s here.”

It makes Phil blush again and he chuckles, finally getting to his feet and slinging his bag back over his head, “I’ll see you next year?” he asks with a grin.

“I’ll be looking forward to it,” she says, “And don’t hesitate to contact me if you have any questions during your own readings…”

Dan glances at Phil in surprise. Except for the video they’d filmed together where Phil read his tarot cards, he didn’t realise Phil used the cards any other time. He doesn’t answer the look though, not yet.

“I will. Thank you so much.”

They cross the room and head back into the street, blinking as the light is way too bright. Dan feels like he’s just stepped out of Narnia, the room where Madame Rosa sits seems like a different world compared to Manchester. Phil is still quiet and reflective, and Dan doesn’t really want to disturb him, but he’s bursting with questions.

“So…” he says, and Phil glances over at him with a smile, but he looks nervous, “Was that...a good reading?”

Phil nods slowly, trying to gather his thoughts, “It certainly makes sense.”

“Well, I mean, of course it does,” Dan says it before he means to, wincing.

“What do you mean?” Phil’s on the defensive, but he’s also curious. They don’t often have this conversation, but when they do, Dan usually shuts him down before he can get a word in.

“Well...she knows you - she knows what you’re about, and so she simply used the vague representations of those cards to make your situation make sense. It’s like when you read your horoscope and it says you’re going to experience a win, and then you find five bucks and you consider it a win,” he says all in one breath, “It’s coincidence and a bit of manipulation on her part.”

Phil takes a breath and Dan prepares for backlash and regret for bringing him along, but Phil ends up smiling.

“What do you think tarot readings are for?” he asks simply.

Dan takes a moment to think, “People go to get their fortunes read. They want to know what their future is.”

Phil nods and he’s still thinking. It takes him a few more paces before he begins to speak, “Tarot doesn’t deal in absolutes,” he explains softly as they walk back to the train, “Tarot makes you reflect, and it helps put perspective into your experiences. If I found five bucks on the sidewalk, in general I wouldn’t call that a win. That’s luck,” he explained, “But if my horoscope said I would get a win, I’d be looking for a win. I’d appreciate this situation so much more because suddenly, it’s a win.”

Dan raised an eyebrow, clearly not understanding.

“Before she mentioned the Judgement card, I didn’t even realise I was feeling upset about our lease coming to an end. And sure, I put the words there, but it’s not like the feelings were new. It’s like… therapy, but through pictures.”

It takes him a moment to understand before Dan is nodding. It still seems strange, but he’s glad it’s not about mystical intuition anymore.

“And what’s this about the Magician?” he asked, “Someone holding you back?”

Phil smiles for a moment, pleased that Dan is taking it seriously and was paying attention, “I was thinking it might relate to our viewers, actually,” he says, “They’re manipulative in a way that makes us careful about what we want to produce. They’re greedy and… it changes the content. We edit out our controversial things because we’re scared it’ll offend, or intimidate, or go against our personas.”

It’s an interesting concept and Dan nods, relieved that Phil didn’t think that _he_ was that manipulative force. Sure, he could admit that he was abrasive sometimes when Phil suggested something, but he’d never thought it would impact him in a serious way.

They stop at Starbucks for caramel macchiatos, because that’s what they do, and conversation dies about the tarot reading. It goes back to light banter, and a little planning for future videos.

It’s not until they’re back on the train that Phil brings it up again, “So what did you actually think?”

“About the reading?” Dan asks, and Phil nods, “I think… that the theatricality behind it is stupid, but I guess I understand more now. Before it seemed like… people were trying to scam others by implying they could see the future…”

“In some cases, I think that might be true. Scammers do exist. And I know you think it’s stupid, but part of me believes that the shuffling, the knocking and everything like that does mean something,” he says, a little self-conscious as he says it, “All of the cards are pretty broad in their interpretations, but… I want to believe that Marlene has the… the ability to...I don’t know, use her energy to help the cards give the truth, or something...”

Dan’s back to one raised eyebrow and scepticism, but it’s less judging now and just general disagreement.

“I respect your views, however I’m gonna go with a hard pass on that one,” Dan laughs, and Phil nudges him, but stays pressed against him, “She said to call, if you have trouble with interpretation? Do you… use your own cards a lot?”

Phil shrugs, self-conscious again, “A bit,” he says, “Maybe once a month, sometimes more. I’m trying to learn all the card meanings. It just helps ground me, I guess. Puts life in perspective. It’s not like I use them to make any big decisions… it just helps me to work out how I really feel about some things..."

Dan nods, “I think it’s cool. Kind of.”

Phil laughs, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, “Thank you for coming out today. It was really nice, actually. I was a tiny bit worried you’d stage a full on protest.”

Dan shrugs, “It was important to you. I didn’t understand that before, but I get it now.”

Phil sighs gently, content as his eyes close, and he waits a few beats before his mouth curves into a grin.

“So next year you’ll get a reading, right?”


End file.
